The Skeletons in my Closet
by ThatCoolKidSpardel
Summary: Eli and Clare's relationship is better than ever...but Eli will soon find out that your past always comes back to haunt you. Can Clare help him make it through? PLEASE R&R!
1. Chapter 1

I looked out the window, and through the sheen of fog that coated the glass I could make out the large letters:

_DEGRASSI COMMUNITY SCHOOL_

Fuck it, I didn't wanna go there. I'd heard terrible things about that place; I'd heard some poor kid almost got stabbed there just a few months ago!

"Emily, it's for the best. The old school just…wasn't working out." My mom kept telling me.

If only it had been just the school. My whole LIFE wasn't working out.

Ever since…

"Em, we're here." My mom announced, breaking my thoughts and trying to sound cheerful.

I got out of the car and didn't miss that my cloud of breath was very visible. Honestly, my mom made us move and everything, why couldn't we have moved to Hawaii instead of just across town?

"Whatever." I mumbled. I knew I would have to go to Degrassi no matter how much I protested, so there wasn't a point in it.

And it's not like I didn't hate my old school…or at least the memories it held…but I didn't really think Degrassi would be the best place for a fresh start.

"Oh Emily, c'mon. Just try to make the best of it."

"Haven't I been doing that for over a year?" I replied in monotone. The spasm of pain that shot across my mother's face didn't bother me, because I knew that I missed her even more than she did. I'd loved her more than our mother.

"Emily…she would want you to make the best of it."

"Don't talk about her." I spat, and walked ahead of my mother into the place that would become my new home away from home.

As my mother was talking to the principal and getting my registration settled, I sat down in a chair outside of his office. The school didn't look too bad, but then again I guess they'd cleaned up after that whole almost stabbing thing. I sighed, and slowly willed myself to, as my mother said, "Make the best of it". Only because I knew she was right, I knew my sister would want me to.

My sister…I would do anything to bring her back.

But _he _took her away from me. _He _killed her.

If I ever saw him again, I would destroy him. But at her funeral, we'd both made it very clear that we would not be seeing each other again.

I didn't show up to school for a long time after she died, and when I did, he'd transferred. And now I'd transferred too, away from that god-awful place, the place that held so many memories of my sister…and _him._

In order to calm down, I thought about how I would never see him ever again.

_Little did I know that I was so fucking wrong about that._

_I was right about one thing though, Degrassi isn't the place to look for a fresh start. Especially when what you were trying to get away from is walking through its hallways. _

_That fucking smirk still playing on his lips. _


	2. Calm Before the Storm

**A/N: Hey guys so that was the prologue, this is Chapter 1. And the prologue and this chapter take place one month after Halo pt2! ENJOY**

Eli's POV:

The bell rang and I immediately got up from my seat, ecstatic for the weekend.

I was sick of these damn khaki pants and polos; I was ready to wear what _I_ wanted and be with the people I wanted to be with. And do with them what we couldn't do at school…

I turned the corner to see her standing by her locker putting her books away. I crept up behind her and poked her in the sides. Her squeal of alarm was music to my ears and I laughed as she caught her breath, her cheeks red. She glared at me.

"Elijah Goldsworthy, I told you not to sneak up on me like that!" She exclaimed, exasperated but she had the hint of a smile on her lips.

I just laughed again and pulled her in for a kiss, shocking her yet again.

"Eli!" She pulled away, blushing. "You know the rules!"

I rolled my eyes. "Of course, I forgot we're still in prison." I muttered sarcastically.

Clare smiled slyly. "Well, there are no PDA rules at my house…at least when my parents aren't home." We laughed together and I slung her backpack over my shoulder, holding her hand as we walked to my hearse.

(xxx)

Clare and I hadn't gone any farther than second base, and I was okay with that. I wasn't going to pressure the girl I loved. I smiled to myself, recalling the day I'd told Clare I loved her. I'd taken her out "parfait" little hideout. She reciprocated my feelings and we'd been doing amazing ever since then. Ever since I opened up to her about my hoarding really.

I could trust her with everything; I know she won't judge me just because I have issues. That's one of the many reasons why I love her.

We sat on her couch and I pounced on her eagerly, pressing my lips to hers as I gripped her waist. Her lips were soft and warm against mine and I ran my tongue over them, asking for entrance. She opened her mouth and surprised me with her own tongue, and I moaned into the kiss as our tongues fought for control.

Clare pulled away, breathless, and I couldn't help but smirk. Clare had never French kissed before me; she hadn't gone far at all with her previous boyfriend. At first she seemed so nervous when we first started heavily making out but then her nerves turned into excitement, and I loved how excited and flustered I could make her just by kissing her.

Of course I'd gone farther with my previous girlfriend, _much _farther, and I was infinitely thankful that Clare was okay with that. She hadn't shown any insecurity about it since that one day when she showed up at my doorstep, throwing herself at me.

She knew that my feelings for her were greater than any I'd ever felt for Julia, and she knew that I was perfectly content to go at her pace.

She grinned at me and bit her lip. _Damn. _I loved it when she did that.

She wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me back toward her, lowering our bodies onto the couch. I hovered over her and knotted my fingers in her hair, slipping my tongue into her mouth once more.

I sucked on her bottom lip while she moved her hands under my shirt and up my chest planes. I moaned a little as her soft fingers traced my abdomen and hipbones, massaging a little.

I sat up and removed my shirt completely, then lowered myself back onto her, my body collapsing onto hers this time. She moaned as our heated bodies pressed together, and the sound drove me crazy.

This was around the time in our make out sessions when I started to think with my "other head", if you know what I mean. I let myself imagine dirty fantasies where the clothing Clare wore now was torn up on my bedroom floor, fantasies where she would moan even louder underneath me, begging me for more-…

I stopped myself, knowing I couldn't get that carried away. Clare wasn't ready for those things yet.

I did however let my hand slink up her body to her chest and I groped her lightly. She moaned a little more and I ran my hands under her shirt, rubbing her smooth stomach and cupping her breasts through the fabric of her bra.

I pulled my lips away from hers and made my way down her neck then, stopping to suck on the skin near her clavicle.

I took it between my teeth and nipped and suck, and the way Clare's body writhed under me was sensational.

"Eli…" She whispered my name and it was getting harder to keep my brain out of my pants. Actually, it was getting harder, period.

I sat up then and pulled her with me, brushing some of her now messy hair behind her ear.

I smiled. "Wow." Was all I could say. No matter how many times we made out, it always left both of us breathless and content. It just felt so damn _good._

She let her fingers wander around my chest again, absent-mindedly and not meeting my eyes. She ran her hands back up to my shoulders and massaged them a little.

"Oh wow that feels great." I said, and she moved so she was kneeling behind me.

She massaged with more force then, working the knots out of my shoulders and back and I groaned a little.

She wrapped her arms around my neck and slid them onto my chest as she rested her head on my shoulder.

She kissed the pulse point on my neck softly and barely audible moan escaped my lips before I could stop it.

Clare smirked, she loved it when I moaned just as much as I loved it when she moaned.

I turned my face back to hers and supported her neck with my hand as I crashed my lips into hers, and they fought together, showing no mercy.

The kiss heated up until Clare heard someone putting a key through her front door.

"My mom!" Clare exclaimed and jumped up from the floor, fixing her hair and shirt quickly. She looked around for my shirt and I had just barely thrown it on before Clare's father walked through the door.

I thought Clare had said it would be her mom, not her-

"Dad, hey! Uh, what are you doing here, it's mom's week!" Clare exclaimed nervously.

Clare's mother was okay with me being over when she wasn't home (since she believed Clare when Clare told her all we did was study) but her father was a different story.

He had no idea I came over after school every day, even on his weeks. He always worked late.

The look he gave me told me that this wasn't exactly a pleasant surprise.

"Clare, what is Elijah doing here?"

"Uh…we were just studying!" Clare said, giving her dad a fake smile. I nodded and tried to look as convincing as possible.

"Uh huh. Where are your books?" Her father asked, crossing his arms.

_Shit._

"Uh…well, we were practicing our French, so we were talking, we didn't need books!"

"So Elijah, you were simply helping my daughter with her foreign language studies were you?" He asked me now, staring me in the eyes, trying to make me break and tell the truth.

I remained composed though. "Oh yes, Clare and I were simply working on our French." I said, and smirked at Clare, laughing inwardly at the irony of my statement. Technically, it was true….

"I see. Well, I just came back to get a pamphlet I needed for work. You two keep on studying. And don't do anything else." He looked at me pointedly as he grabbed his things and exited.

As soon as he was gone, Clare buried her face in her hands and sighed with relief.

"That was so close!"

I grinned and walked over to her, wrapping my arms around her.

"Well Edwards, you heard your father, he told us to keep practicing our French." I murmured seductively in her ear.

She caught my drift and I smirked into another perfect kiss with my perfect girlfriend.

Hell, our entire relationship was perfect.

_Little did I know how that was all about to change… _


	3. I Just Saw a Ghost

Clare's POV:

I fixed my hair in the mirror in my locker, clipping a flower pin into the left side. I wasn't as upset about these uniforms as Eli, but I still tried to incorporate my own style.

Speaking of Eli, I sadly won't get to meet him today since I signed up for a new program where you can mentor students that are just now transferring to Degrassi in the middle of the year.

I walked to Principal Simpson's office and he smiled when he saw me.

"Emily, this is Clare Edwards, one of our best students. She's a tenth grader here and she'll be showing you around for a while."

I looked at the girl that I would be mentoring.

By the yellow shirt she was wearing I knew she was a freshman, but that's about all I could tell from her appearance.

She had black hair that fell messily into her face, and her nails were painted dark purple. She didn't smile when she saw me, but she didn't glare either. Her expression just seemed uncaring, unaffected.

Connecting with her would be harder than I expected.

"Clare, meet Emily Kennisworth."

"Hey Emily." I said sweetly.

She flashed a small grin and waved, still not speaking.

Principal Simpson left then, leaving me with this quiet, mysterious freshman.

"So, I see you got your uniform." I said, attempting small talk.

"Yeah. It's the ugliest piece of shit I've seen in a while."

Even though I didn't like the use of profanity, I still laughed.

"I'll say. My boyfriend has gotten about a zillion detentions for defying this awful dress code."

She grinned again, and I hoped I was beginning to open her up.

"Boyfriend, eh? So there are actually some decent guys around this place?"

I giggled and nodded. "Yeah, I guess you could say that. So…want me to show you around."

She smiled, got up, and nodded. I was wrong to judge Emily; once you got to talking with her she wasn't too bad.

Emily's POV:

I was wrong to judge Clare; once you got to talking with her she wasn't too bad. Sure she seemed like a goody-goody oblivious little twit at first, but after she pulled me into a conversation and started showing me around, I learned she actually had a good sense of humor.

And she wasn't really a goody-goody; she defied the rules in her own way, just like me.

It was nearing the end of her free period and I groaned at the thought of having to go to my second period class, and losing Clare's company.

I was lucky to find one decent person; I didn't have much hopes of finding many more in my classes.

We sat down in the library and drank some cokes we'd bought at the vending machine.

"So Clare, there's one topic you've been avoiding." I said.

"Oh?" She asked. "Did I forget to tell you about the sports department or something?"

I rolled my eyes and laughed. "No. You haven't told me about your boyfriend."

Clare's POV:

I blushed and Emily raised an eyebrow.

How could I begin to describe Eli? He was so…my blush darkened and Emily grinned.

"Oh gosh, is he really that much of a heartthrob?"

"No, not really." I said, my cheeks still red. "He's just…I don't know how to describe him."

"Let's start with his name." Emily said.

I giggled. "His name is Eli. Eli Goldsworthy."

Emily's POV:

Never before in my life have I had a more realistic nightmare than the one I'm having right now.

The idea that this nice girl, who could possibly end up being my friend, would be dating the worst person alive is just inconceivable.

"What...?" I asked, laughing a little in my sudden hysteria.

"Eli Goldsworthy…do you know him?" Clare asked.

"Do I…do I know him? I…uh…how do YOU know him?" I asked, the tone and volume of my voice making Clare jump a little.

"Well he's in my English class and-…"

"He goes HERE?" I was screaming now, and people were starting to stare.

"Yes. Emily, what's wrong? How do you know Eli?"

Eli's POV:

I walked toward the library, hoping I could check out a few good books before my next class, which would be my free period.

I walked in and was happily surprised when I recognized Clare's red curls. She was sitting at a table with…

_No._

This is impossible, it can't really be-

"Emily?" I asked, an unbelieving tone to my voice. Why was she here? She shouldn't be here, I wasn't supposed to ever see her again. The mere sight of her brought back so many memories, memories of Julia.

"Don't talk to me!" She screamed.

"Emily-…I…" I didn't know where to start. I didn't know what to say. I wanted her to disappear, I wasn't prepared to see her again. Why was this happening?

"Eli what is going on?" Another voice asked me then. Clare.

I turned to her, and whatever she saw in my facial expression couldn't have been good.

"Clare…why were you talking with her?" Clare and Emily couldn't speak with each other, it would destroy everything. Emily would tell Clare everything, things Clare didn't need to know.

She would tell Clare lies about me.

And worse, she would tell Clare the truth.

"I'm getting the fuck out of here." Emily's voice spat.

She started toward the door of the library and I stuttered after, wanting to clear my name, to say _something _at least.

"I'm sorry!" I called after her, but she didn't turn around.

"Julia, I'm sorry!"


	4. Author's Note

So guys, something you should know about me, I'm a terrible at multi-tasking. So what am I'm gonna do is finish my KC/Eli fanfiction, and then dedicate all my time to this one. This way they'll both be better than they would be if I tried to focus on both at the same time. Hope you guys understand!


	5. Broken Promise

**Clare's POV**:

I had no idea what was going on and frankly I was a little scared. _WHY _did Emily seem to hate Eli so much? Eli had never mentioned her before, ever…

And WHY did Eli call her Julia?

"Eli? Eli what the hell is going on?" I asked warily. I don't know if I can take another big secret.

But he wouldn't answer me; he just stared after that Emily girl, with emotions I'd never seen before clouding his eyes.

**Eli's POV:**

Clare was trying to talk to me; she wanted me to explain. But I barely heard her, and I was far from being able to speak. Besides, my mind was somewhere else…

_I was in the grocery store, very focused on the shelf in front of me, attempting to find the cereal my mom wanted._

_And then she bumped into me._

_Annoyed, I turned around. I was about to say something but the girl beat me to it._

"_I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have my iPod on in the store…" She laughed nervously while taking her headphones out of her ears._

_My anger melted away, I could tell this girl was truly sorry, and well…she was VERY pretty._

"_It's okay." I murmured, smirking a little._

_I caught a glimpse at her still lit up iPod screen and smiled._

"_Dead Hand! Is that they're new album?"_

_Her face lit up and her sparkly gray eyes widened. "Yeah, do you know them?" She asked._

"_They're my favorite band." _

"_Really? Me too." _

_Neither of us knew what to say after that so she awkwardly brushed a dark lock out of her eyes and said "Um…my name's Julia."_

"_I'm Eli." I answered._

_We just smiled at each other and then we heard a voice._

"_Jules! Jules where are you?"_

"_Over here Em!" She called, and I turned to see a girl that looked basically like a miniature version of Julia walk up to us._

"_This is my sister Emily." Julia introduced the girl. _

_She looked me up and down. "Is this your boyfriend?"_

_Both Julia and I blushed and I looked away._

"_Emily! No, this is Eli, we just met."_

_Emily nodded. "I see…do you go to school together?"_

"_Uh…" She looked at me, trying to recall if she'd seen me around school or not._

"_I go to Newmarket High(*)." I pitched in. _

_Her face lit up again, I loved how big her eyes got when she was happy or surprised…_

"_Really? Me too."_

_I smirked. "Cool…maybe I'll see you around?"_

_She smiled then and nodded, looking me straight in the eyes. We seemed to get lost in each others eyes…_

"_Julia, hey. Remember me? I have to get to my guitar lesson."_

"_You play guitar?" I asked Julia's sister. She raised an eyebrow at me and shrugged._

"_A little. Do you?"_

_I nodded. "Yeah I used to take lessons to, at Music Emporium."_

"_That's where I take!"_

_I smirked, it was funny how much I had in common with these sisters._

"_Mom, are you serious? Well what am I-…" I realized that Julia had gotten her phone out; and she hung up, looking annoyed._

"_Our stupid mother can't come and pick us up." She muttered. "I'm sorry Em."_

_Emily's face fell and she crossed her arms and pouted._

_I don't know what it was about Emily's look or Julia's sudden anger, but I knew I had to help these girls._

"_You know, I know the way to Music Emporium. I could drive you guys."_

_Both of their faces lit up._

"_Really? Jules, you didn't tell me your boyfriend had a car!" Emily exclaimed, smiling again._

_Julia gave her a look._

"_I don't know about this-…" She looked at me._

"_Morty's pretty safe, he's-…"_

"_Morty?" She asked, raising her eyebrows._

_I blushed, I just had to mention the dorky name of my car to this cute girl…_

"_Uh…my hearse."_

_Her eyebrows raised even higher. "You drive a hearse?"_

_And now she's gonna think I'm a freak and never talk to me again…I thought._

_But to my surprise, she grinned. "That's trippy…but cool. Are you sure you can give us a ride?"_

_I smiled, nodded, and led them to my car._

_(xxx)_

"_Thanks again Eli." Julia said sincerely, hopping out of the passenger's seat when we reached the outlet Music Emporium was at._

"_Don't mention it…I could give you my number, and if you ever need anything you can you know…call me or something." I blushed at how blatantly obvious I had just been._

_Julia smiled though. "Sure." She took out a pen and wrote her number down on my arm._

"_There you go. Call my some time and I'll save you as a contact…you know, in case I need you." She blushed a little too._

_She went off to a vintage store near Emporium and left me in the car with Emily, who had her mouth open and was pointing down her throat._

"_Lot of flirt there." She said, almost like she was accusing me._

_I blushed and made a face. She just laughed._

"_Eli…my sisters dated a lot of guys. And…not all of them have treated her right. If you date her…promise me you'll be a good boyfriend, and you'll never hurt her."_

_I was a little stunned at Emily's deep statement, considering I'd just met her and her sister. _

"_Yeah, sure Emily. I…I promise."_

_How could I not? _

_The way Emily stared at me with her deep brown eyes, she had this young, trusting look, like all her faith was in you…and I couldn't let her down._

_She smiled then. "You know Eli, you're alright."_

_With that she got out of the car and ran to her guitar lesson…._

"Eli?" Clare was shaking my arm now, looking worried.

I turned to her and sighed.

"Clare, I have to go."

She looked at me her face contorting into a mask of confusion and…hurt.

I grimaced, I hated it when I hurt her.

"Eli…talk to me, it's okay. What's wrong?" She asked quietly. She tried to take my hands in hers but I pulled away. I couldn't face her right now, I couldn't tell her-

The hurt on her face reappeared.

"I'm sorry Clare, I…." I was retreating, walking backwards toward the door. I had to get out of here.

Her hurt look deepened and if it was possible I hated myself even more.

I tore my eyes away from her face and ran away.

I ran out of the school, to Morty…

I got in the car and drove, which probably wasn't the best idea because I wasn't focused on the road.

I was focused on those words I'd spoken to Emily so long ago….

"_Eli…my sisters dated a lot of guys. And…not all of them have treated her right. If you date her…promise me you'll be a good boyfriend, and you'll never hurt her."_

"_Yeah, sure Emily. I…I promise."_

A tear fell down my cheek. I had most definitely not kept my promise.


	6. The Reason

**Emily's POV:**

_I was in the living room, bored as shit._

_I'd called a few friends, asking if they wanted to hang out, but they couldn't. Or at least that's what they said. They were probably just being nice; they didn't wanna flat out tell me they didn't wanna hang out with me._

_And why would they?_

_No one wanted to hang out with me. I was just a stupid, boring 8__th__ grader._

_I heard the key in the door and I perked up; Julia was home._

_The door opened and her and Eli walked in, holding hands and looking all lovey dovey like they always do._

_Ever since that day we met him, Julia and Eli have been practically inseparable. They'd just gone on their fifth date, and they'd only met three weeks ago._

"_Hey Em, I'm home!" Julia called, closing the door behind her._

_I waved at her and Eli, and then flopped back onto the couch. _

"_Hold on, let me go to the bathroom." She said. _

_Julia ran upstairs and left me alone with Eli._

"_What's up Emily?" He asked, sitting down next to me. I shrugged. Obviously nothing was up; I'd been home ALL night._

"_Everything okay?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at me._

"_Why do you care?" I mumbled. His eyes clouded a little with hurt and I felt bad. I didn't mean to snap at him; but I was in a bad mood._

"_Sorry…" I said. "I've just been alone all night."_

_Eli sighed. "I'm sorry I've been keeping your sister from you Em."_

_I shook my head. "Don't be sorry, you make her happy."_

_He smiled. "You guys are really close, aren't you?"_

_I looked at him and nodded. He smiled and nodded to himself a little._

_Julia came back downstairs then and Eli stood up. _

"_Oh damn, I just remembered…" He pulled out his wallet. "I have these coupons for the smoothie stand at the mall, and they expire tonight."_

_Julia smiled a little as Eli handed her one of the coupons._

_And then he handed one to me._

"_Why don't I take you girls out for some smoothies?" He asked, smirking at me._

_My eyes widened. None of Julia's boyfriends had ever paid any attention to me before, except to maybe tell me to get lost when they were making out._

"_What do you say Em?" Eli asked, raising an eyebrow._

_I nodded, smiling, and the three of us went out together. The whole night I kept thinking…Eli is the coolest guy ever._

I sat there alone, my head in my hands, reliving the memories.

I'd like Eli so much. So many of Julia's boyfriends had been awful, they'd been low life douche-bags and a few of them would even cuss her out or hit her.

Eli was nothing like that; he seemed to actually care about her.

And not only was Eli good to Julia, he was good to me. He actually talked to me; he treated me like a person, not like the annoying little sister so many people thought I was.

I guess there were times I came off as a little annoying, but that was because no one but my sister had ever accepted me or given me a chance. And then Eli did too.

I wanted to throw up when I thought about how all of it, every whispered I love you to Julia, every hug to me, every smile, every laugh, ALL OF IT, had been fake.

He'd turned out to be the WORST boyfriend ever. He killed her.

"I'm sorry Jules." I murmured as a tear fell down my cheek. I was sitting next to her gravestone, the place where I'd come to spend a lot of my time.

I couldn't look at it, that was too painful, but if I sat next to it and pretended she was really alive, still talking to me, then that would sometimes work.

"I'm sorry for what he did to you, to us." I continued. "I should've stopped him, I shouldn't of let you move out and live with him."

I'd protested but she'd insisted that she go live with him. She said she really loved him and she wanted to be with him, plus she was having issues with our mom. I don't know why he let her move in, maybe he just wanted sex. I still don't know why he led her on, lead US on, for so long. I guess I never will.

**Eli's POV:**

I knew where she would be. It was a place I hadn't gone to in a long time, even though I'd wanted to visit. I knew Emily would want to be there, and I didn't want to disturb her. After all, Julia was her sister. She deserved to visit her far more than I did. In fact, I didn't deserve _anything_ from either of those girls.

But I have to set things straight with Emily. I have to tell her the truth, the things I've kept from her for so long. If she is going to be at Degrassi…she'll have to know the truth.

And I know what this means. She will tell Clare everything I told her. I don't know if it will be out of spite or wanting to protect Clare, but I know she will. And it's better that way. It's better if Clare finds out and leaves me now.

I pulled into the parking lot of the graveyard and walked the path I knew by heart, until I found the two sisters that I'd betrayed.

**Emily's POV:**

"What are you doing here?" I spat.

He shouldn't be here. I don't want him here. I don't want him anywhere near me, or near her.

"LEAVE!" I screamed. I didn't want him to see me cry but that didn't stop the tears from falling down my face.

I buried my face in my hands again, waiting for him to leave.

"Emily, let me explain-…" I heard him say. Hearing his voice made me even angrier.

"There's nothing to explain!" I yelled. "You KILLED her!"

A spasm of pain shot across his face as I accused him, and his pain made me feel a little better. He SHOULD be in pain, after what he did to us.

"I didn't." He protested weakly, looking at the ground.

"You know I don't believe that. YOU don't even believe that." He knows he killed her; it was obvious in his eyes.

He closed his eyes, his face a mask of pain. He didn't say anything so I continued.

"She didn't get run over by a car." It wasn't a question; both of us know it's true.

He sighed. "No she didn't."

"So you KILLED HER!" I screamed, standing up. I'd finally gotten him to admit it!

"I didn't kill her!"

I groaned. "Don't fucking lie to me!"

He just kept shaking his head with his eyes closed, and tears were now streaming from them.

"I didn't…I didn't!" He kept repeating, and it seemed like more to himself than me.

"Fine. Maybe you didn't physically kill her, but you're the reason she's dead." I said. That brought him up short.

He opened his eyes and stopped shaking his head. A tear fell from his eye.

And then he nodded.


	7. Bloodspilt

**A/N: Wow guys, I am SO sorry for not updating sooner. But can you say Midterms? Fuuucckk I have so much shit to study. But I still wanna try and keep up with this, I really love this story and I hope you guys do too! So here you go, R&R please! **

**Eli's POV:**

When I was nine, I'd lived in a really bad neighborhood. It was dominated by a very exclusive gang that had named themselves Bloodspilt. It wasn't hard to see why. They were ruthless; they beat anyone that got in their way to an inch from death. They murdered people too, either for money or for leverage. Drugs ran rampant in that neighborhood, and Bloodspilt pretty much ran the drug market too. They wouldn't hesitate to stab any dealer that wasn't part of the gang.

One of them, the leader, found me outside after dark one day.

He was a huge man, built up more than the football players at my school. He didn't have any hair; instead he had a blue and black lightning bolt tattoo that went from his forehead, across his head, to the bottom of his neck. He wore black wife beaters and ripped jeans, along with these gigantic combat boots. He had a dog chain around his neck with his name on it. His name was Mike.

When he turned sixteen he'd his father in the head and started Bloodspilt. Or at least that's what the rumors are.

He was absolutely horrible.

When he'd found me, he'd let out a long cackle and walked right up to me.

"Little boys shouldn't play outside after dark."

I stared at him, open mouthed, completely stunned. I'd heard of the gang and seen them around before, but that was the first time I'd ever come in contact with one of them.

I didn't say anything so he kept talking.

"That's a nice MP3 player you've got there." He'd spoken in my ear, leaning down to my level.

"Yeah…" I had squeaked, absolutely terrified. I was only a kid then, after all…

"How about you give it over to old Mike, and then you can go back inside?" He'd taunted.

I'd just gotten it for my birthday, I didn't wanna lose it, so I'd clutched it to my chest and shook my head.

He broke a beer bottle over my head. The glass cut through my skin and I was shocked as blood spilled into my eyes, running down my forehead. I screamed in pain; it was terrible.

He snatched it away from my trembling hands then and straightened back up to his full, menacing size.

He kicked me in the stomach and the air shot out of me in a strangled gasp. The pain vibrated through me and I heaved, trying to regain my breathing. It hurt so badly…

"That's for being difficult you pussy."

With that he walked away, leaving me crying in my front yard.

"It's something isn't it?"

I yelped and turned to my other side, looking at a boy who had snuck up on me. He wasn't in Bloodspilt thank God; he was my age.

"They're….awful." I spat, still in distress.

"I know. They can't be beat." He continued. "That's why I'm going to join them."

I looked at the boy incredulously. "How…how could you join those…those terrible people?"

He sighed and sat down next to me. "Because that's the only way to keep them from making your life a living hell."

I shook my head violently. "You're wrong!" There was no way I could accept such a thing, no way could I consider joining those guys.

He shook his head. "I'm not. They harassed my older brother till he committed suicide. I can't let that happen to me."

I barely knew what suicide was at the time, much less known anyone who'd done it. The fact that this boy had had something so tragic happen in his life at such a young age was….heartbreaking.

"I'm so sorry." I'm said. He shrugged. "What's done is done. I wasn't that close to him anyway."

"So…your really gonna join the gang?" I looked at the boy, realizing he was serious.

He nodded. "Yup." We sat there quietly for a while until he introduced himself. "My name is Mark."

"My name's Eli."

He nodded. "Well Eli, see you around."

I'd gone inside after that and my mother did a double take when saw me.

"Eli, baby boy, what happened to your head?" She'd screamed, panicking and wetting a cloth to wipe the blood off of my forehead with.

"I…uh…."

She looked at me expectantly.

"I dropped my MP3 player down the sewer and accidentally banged my head when I got on the ground to get it. I couldn't get it back though, I'm sorry."

"Eli, I don't care about that! But your poor head! I'll fix you up, come into the kitchen…."

I couldn't tell my mom what had really happened. There was nothing she could do. The gang was notorious for avoiding the cops and they hardly ever left any evidence behind. Also, it wasn't like we could move. We were barely getting by in the cheap house we lived in. My mom and dad, they did the best they could with the jobs they had. They hated themselves for not being able to provide more for me, and I wouldn't add onto that by letting them know I was getting harassed. It wasn't their fault after all, they were trying.

Eventually we were able to get out of that neighborhood though after my dad became a DJ and made a little more money. But the damage was done…

(xxx)

I drove back home with an empty feeling in my heart. Emily had screamed at me in the graveyard and run away, again. Just like how she did at Julia's funeral.

I can't blame her, but I wish she'd stayed a little longer. So I could've told her what really happened…

There's so much she doesn't know.

But then again, maybe it's better if it stays that way. It's probably safer for her. But I felt so bad lying to her for all of these years…

I was so down about how Emily and I had left things that I was absolutely shocked when I walked inside and my mom told me I had a visitor.

She can't really be here right now, can she? Is she actually going to listen?

My mom stepped aside and Clare came into view.

A ball dropped in my heart. For some reason, it's even harder to face Clare than it is to face Emily. Maybe because I'm in love with Clare, and so much more is it stake with her.

She smiled half-heartedly and walked up to me, reaching for my hands. I pulled back and she frowned sadly.

"Clare…I'm sorry." I took a deep breath. "Here, come upstairs with me."

I led her to my now clean room and we sat down on my bed.

"I don't mean to pull away Clare, there's just….I can't explain…" I fumbled, not knowing what I should and shouldn't say-

**Clare's POV:**

I squeezed my eyes shut to regain composure and then opened them again. I kept reminding myself that I loved Eli. We'd survived Julia, we'd survived his hoarding….we could survive whatever this new issue with Emily was.

"How about you start with how you know Emily?" I asked quietly.

Eli's face contorted into a mask of pain and he looked away.

"Emily is Julia's little sister." He spoke quietly.

My eyes widened in shock.

He'd NEVER told me Julia had a sister….why would he keep this from me?

"Huh? But…why didn't you tell me before? Why didn't you stay in touch with her? I mean…you two could've helped each other grieve-…"

He shook his head violently. "No Clare, no. Emily and I…we're not friends. We can't help each other."

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "But…why not? What happened between you guys?"

He shook his head again. "Nothing between us, it's what happened between me and Julia that's the problem."

A hollow, anxious feeling was building in my heart. "And….what was that?"

He closed his eyes and buried his face in his hands.

"I…I don't know how to tell you. I haven't….I haven't told anyone…"

"Eli, please." I can't take this. Not more secrets. I thought we were finally being honest with each other!

I reached out to touch him, trying to comfort him. "Eli, it's okay, you can tell me…" I murmured. I gave his arm a reassuring squeeze but to my surprise he yelped in pain and reached up to hold his arm.

"Don't touch right there…it hurts." He whimpered.

"I…I'm sorry. Do you have a bruise?" I reached to lift his shirt sleeve up and he tried to stop me.

"No!" He demanded, startling me a little.

"Eli…maybe I can do something, let me see it."

He shook his head. "I'm fine, no, I-…"

While he was busy protesting I lifted the sleeve up to reveal his upper arm-

I nearly gagged.

The scar there was….unbelievable, disgusting. Inhuman almost.

His flesh (or what was left of it) was torn and carved away. Messy black blood clots dried the skin up but you could still see dried out muscle and sinews.

It looked as if someone had taken a chunk out of his arm.

"Eli…where did this-what-…"

I've never seen this scar before, but it can't be new.

"Why…why haven't I seen this before? How could I have not, it can't be new, I mean-…"

I stuttered out of disgust for the wound and worry for Eli's health. He'd taken his shirt off in front of me before and I'd never seen it….

"I put make up over it." He whispered quietly.

My eyes widened. "Why Eli? You need to get this treated, you need to-…"

"NO!"

**Eli's POV:**

Clare looked at me with bewildered, worried eyes as I jumped off the bed, flinging my shirt sleeve back down. No one can see that mark…

_I hated myself. I hated everything about me; my entire life. What I'd become, what they'd turned me into._

_I looked at the tattoo just below my shoulder. They'd marred me, branded me, and turned me into one of them with that mark. That mark meant nothing but agony and betrayal, misery and violence-_

_I couldn't look at it anymore; I couldn't stand it being on my body. I wasn't one of them, not anymore. Not after all they'd done to me. _

_I took the knife out of my pocket and jammed it into my skin._

_I cried out; the pain was excruciating. But I'd dealt with worse. I carved the accursed tattoo out of my skin, leaving a bloody wound. I laughed without humor at how perfect a metaphor that was for my life. Everything brutally cut away, leaving nothing but blood and pain and hatred._

_And regret._

Clare was walking toward me, trying to console me, but I shook my head. I won't go to the hospital; I won't let anyone see that scar ever again.

No one can see that mark.

The only thing worse than someone seeing that mark on me would be someone seeing the tattoo it replaced.

The Bloodspilt gang sign.


	8. SNEAK PEAK!

**PREVIEW OF A LATER CHAPTER…(hehe I love doing this to help/torture guys ;) )**

I've got blood in my eyes.

At first I thought it was tears that were rolling down my face, and I was ashamed with myself for crying in front of these mother fuckers.

But then I wiped my cheek and saw the red.

I'm on the ground, clutching my side. My head isn't the only thing that's bleeding.

The bullet shot through my abdomen, it hurts like fuck.

I swear I just heard someone say the word artery…

They call my name and I have to answer something. I wish those psychotic douche bags would leave though so I could spend my last few moments with my friends.

Finally the cop sirens howl in the distance and my enemies leave; leaving me looking at only sad, teary faces.

Some of them are in denial, they think I might still live and they're screaming about contacting an ambulance.

But he knows. He know's I'm done for.

He grips my hand and I squeeze it, barely managing a smile. "I told you so." I rasp out, looking at his confused face.

"What….what do you mean?" He asks.

Why can't he understand? It's getting harder for me to speak and he needs to hear this…

"I….I….."

(xxx)

**DUN DUN DUNNN**

**Who dies? What are they trying to say? Who are they talking too? Muahahaha I feel so terrible now leaving you guys hanging with that, but you will find out in many chapters to come! Tell me your predictions though, I'm curious!**


	9. Suffocate

**Eli's POV:**

"Eli…you're scaring the crap out of me right now." Clare whimpered as a tear fell down her cheek. I hate it when I make people cry…

"_Eli, why are you doing this? What about all we have?"_

"_We don't have anything. Leave me alone you bitch."_

"_Eli what the FUCK? Where is this coming from? I thought you…I thought you loved me!"_

"_I could never love someone as fucked up as you. You just cause problems for me. Pack up your stuff and get the fuck out."_

"_Eli…I…I'm sorry-…"_

"_GET THE FUCK OUT!"_

_Tears rolled down her face. She was apologizing, pleading. Why? She hadn't done anything wrong, it was all me, all my fault…_

"Clare…please don't cry!" I murmured.

I walked closer to her and took her in my arms. My hands were shaking as I wrapped one into her curly hair.

"I…I'm sorry."

Why did she apologize? Why did she apologize for my mistakes?

"Don't be. I'm the one that's sorry Clare."

She looked up at me then with wet eyes.

"Eli…will you tell me what happened?"

**Clare's POV:**

At least he's calming down. He's holding me, his hands are shaking a little but…he's holding me, he's here, looking at me, talking to me.

He's that distant mess from a few minutes ago.

"I…I don't know Clare."

My heart dropped again.

"How…how bad is this issue Eli?" I asked though I already knew the answer. What with the way he's acting…it has to be bad.

He hung his head. "Really bad Clare. Really bad." He admitted.

"Will it…go away any time soon?"

He shook his head.

I pressed my lips into a hard line. "Then you have to tell me what it is Eli."

I can't do this with him if I don't even know what I'm helping him deal with.

"No…"

"Eli why don't you trust me?" My voice cracked.

I was trying SO hard.

I stayed with him through all of his grief about Julia; I stayed with him with all of his hoarding. But it's REALLY difficult dealing with all of his problems. Helping him, listening to him…being with him is hard for me, especially when he kept so many secrets.

I didn't like secrets in a relationship.

And now this new thing….it's killing me.

"I do trust you Clare, I just can't tell you."

"Then you don't trust me. Eli honestly, how bad can it be that you can't even tell me?"

I know he's upset, but I'm getting fed up. I'm sick of him being so cryptic. I'm his girlfriend; we've been together for three months! Why won't he talk to me?

"Bad Clare. I don't know how to tell you, I can't."

"Then I can't do this."

**Eli's POV:**

"_I can't do this anymore Eli."_

_My heart fell out of my chest._

"_What…what do you mean?"_

"_Eli…this is just too much. I can't stay with you anymore, I need…I need some time!"_

_I should've let her go. I hate myself for not letting her go._

"_NO! Damn it, you don't need time, you need to stay with me!"_

"What do you mean you can't do this?" The volume of my voice was increasing as I stared at Clare. She can't be doing what I think she's doing…

"Eli, I can't be with you if you won't be truthful with me."

She started at me sadly and my heart broke. I felt sadness, and then…the angst, the defensive, aggressive side of me kicked in.

"You CAN'T break up with me Clare!"

"But you CAN'T keep hiding things from me Eli!"

"I can't help it!" I argued. She doesn't know what I'm hiding, she doesn't know how hard this is for me….why is she telling me what I can and can't do?

"Then I can't help but take some time off Eli." She said sternly. "I'm trying so hard to help you but if you won't tell me what this new HUGE screwed up thing is, then I can't-…"

"What do you mean you can't? You don't have to do ANYTHING! God damn it Clare, all you have to do is stay with me!" I yelled.

She took a step back and her eyes widened at the volume I was using.

"Eli, just staying with you is hard if you won't tell me what you're going through. I can't…I won't do this to myself Eli."

"You PROMISED!" I screamed.

She took a step back and stumbled into my dresser.

"You made me a promise that you would never leave me…that you would be my rock!"

"Eli…I…want to be your rock, but…"

"THEN STAY WITH ME!"

"Eli stop yelling PLEASE!"

I turned my head away exasperated.

When I turned back to her there were tears in her eyes again.

Oh god….what have I done?

I made Clare, my sweet innocent Clare cry…what's wrong with me? How did I let myself get out of hand like that?

"Clare…"

"Goodbye Eli."

And then she left.

**Clare's POV:**

It has been three days since the fight.

There's no sign of Emily, and there are MANY signs of Eli.

He calls me every night, overflows my inbox with messages…it's like he's stalking me.

In English class he won't focus, he'll just stare at me the whole time. He follows me around school but I ignore him.

He pleads with me. "Clare, let me explain, give me another chance."

And…I will, I know I should, but…

When I leave my phone at home, go out with my friends, not caring what Eli thinks or if he calls…

I feel free.

I just talked to Alli for the first time in FOREVER yesterday. My best friend! And I haven't seen her.

She's invited me to hang out a few times…and every time I was with Eli. I've neglected Alli, poor sweet Alli who's at a new school all by herself. And I turned how down time after time for Eli. She's forgiven me of course, but I haven't forgiven myself for letting her down like that.

And my mom and dad…

Ever since the divorce they've been trying to get close to me; have one on one time. They feel really bad about the divorce, I can tell, and they're trying really hard to make it up to me.

But I always blow them off…and for who?

Eli.

When I go through my tweets or text messages or calls….Eli, Eli, Eli.

I guess I didn't realize how much he's been dominating my time lately.

This little after-fight cold period is kind of refreshing.

It's scary really, that I've spent so much time with Eli for this past month and he still keeps things from me.

It puts things into perspective…

**Eli's POV:**

We haven't talked in three days, which is why I'm beyond elated that she's meeting me after school today.

When I saw her by the park bench, that one day where we embarrassed each other so long ago…my heart surged with love for her.

I'll do anything she wants me to do to make this relationship work.

"Clare, thanks for meeting me. I've been going crazy not talking to you."

She nodded and smiled sadly.

"I'm sorry about that Eli, but-…"

"I promise, the issue with Emily, it's over, done with."

Forget telling her what happened, if it means losing Clare…I'll live with the guilt of what I did to Emily and Julia.

"Really?" She perked up and raised her eyebrows.

I nodded. "Yes. Don't worry about it anymore. I'm all yours, I won't let anything from my past come between us."

She smiled. I LOVED her smile. "Thanks Eli." She leaned into kiss me and my heart melted.

I was so glad our fight had passed.

"But Eli, that other afternoon…"

I stiffened, I know I'll still have to talk to her about that and apologize sincerely for the way I yelled and I will, but-

"Not now." I murmured into her hair. "Please Clare, I haven't seen you in three days, how about we do something fun and happy to celebrate our reunion? Like, I could take you out to dinner…" I smirked and kissed her neck.

"That sounds great Eli, but what about tomorrow night? I'm meeting Alli at the mall tonight to help her shop for some new make up."

I groaned. "Since when do you like make up shopping?" I raised an eyebrow at her.

She shrugged. "It's not really that, it's just I wanna hang out with Alli-…"

I whined and started rubbing her arms. I just got her back after three cold, ruthless days without her, I want her all to myself.

"C'mon can't you reschedule?"

Her eyes widened and she made a face. "I don't want to Eli."

"C'mon…" I started kissing her neck again.

"We need some time alone, just the two of us…"

I was appalled when I felt her push me away.

"Stop it! You're suffocating me."

**A/N: I incorporated the promo into this…what do you think? Don't worry, it still fits the original plot. This will lead back into that!**


	10. Angst and Fire

**Clare's POV:**

"_Clare c'mon I haven't seen you in forever!"_

"_Alli I know, I'm sorry, it's just I promised Eli I'd go over to his house tonight."_

"_You go over to Eli's house EVERY night! Don't you ever get sick of him?"_

"_Well…"_

"_Never mind, forget it."_

"_Wait, Alli! Yes. Yes I do…sometimes."_

"_Then just tell him something came up and you can't hang out."_

"_But…he's so fragile. He's in therapy and he's trying really hard and…he's so good to me Alli. And…I just…"_

"_It's cool; I can see he's more important than me."_

"_Alli c'mon…"_

"_Clare c'mon!"_

"_FINE! I'll cancel on him tonight. Happy?"_

"_Very. See you soon Clare Bear."_

_(xxx)_

"_But why?" Eli pouted sadly and I almost caved right then and there._

"_Well…I just…I haven't seen Alli in a while Eli and she really wants to hang out."_

"_But you promised me we could hang out tonight."_

"_Well yeah but we see each other every day so I was thinking-…"_

"_But you promised." He drawled, giving me puppy dog eyes. He took my hands in his and started massaging circles into them._

_I sighed. I love Eli, I really do…but he's kind of clingy._

_He wants to hang out every day, and usually I don't have a problem with that, I mean I REALLY love spending time with him. But there're those times when I really feel like doing something else, without him, and he just…does this._

"_Clare, I'm sorry if you think I'm trying to keep you from your friends, I'm not, I just…I had a therapy session this afternoon, and I'm feeling really down. Being with you…cheers me up." He grinned slightly and I broke._

_How could I turn him down when he played that card? I scolded myself for thinking he meant to guilt trip me, I know he doesn't, he really does have a lot to deal with and I really do make him feel better._

_He really does need me. And as much as I like being needed, and I need him too…there's sometimes when it gets to be a little too much._

_He leaned in closer to me and kissed my cheek softly, his eyelashes brushing my skin. I shivered._

"_Okay…I'll call Alli and tell her we'll hang out some other night."_

"What do you mean I'm suffocating you?" His eyebrows furrowed and he crossed his arms.

I sighed exasperatedly. "I mean that you do this," I motioned with my hands, "a lot. I'll tell you I have plans with someone else and you try to talk me out of them; you try to get me to spend time with you instead."

"Well forgive me for wanting to spend time with my girlfriend."

I rolled my eyes. "C'mon Eli. We spend tons of time together."

"We haven't talked for three whole days!"

"Because you were keeping secrets from me and you yelled at me!" I argued.

His eyes widened and he looked like he was going to speak, but I was on a roll now.

"And in these past three days, I've really been enjoying myself. I've been hanging out with Alli, my parents, just having some alone time. It's been really nice Eli; I haven't had that in a while. You're dominating all my time and…you don't even tell me everything!" My voice broke with hurt.

"You keep keeping all of these deep dark secrets from me and you act like I can't handle them. Or maybe you know I can and you just don't want to tell me?" I questioned, the hurt evident on both of our faces now.

"Clare, I-.."

I cut him off.

"So what right do you have to me when you aren't even truthful with me Eli?"

**Eli's POV:**

"_Eli where are you going?"_

"_Nowhere Jules, I'll be back in an hour or so."_

"_So you're going nowhere but you're not gonna be back for an hour? Cause that makes sense." She snapped._

_I turned to face her, irritated. I couldn't tell her where I was going…_

"_Don't be upset Julia, I'll be back in an hour, I swear." I tried to keep my voice even, I didn't want to yell._

"_Where are you going Eli?" She asked pointedly, crossing her arms._

"_Don't worry about it Julia, I-…"_

"_Are you cheating on me?"_

_I rolled my eyes. "No." I said curtly, upset that she would even suspect that. "Why would you think that?"_

"_I don't know, maybe because you keep leaving all the time late at night and you never tell me where you're going?"_

"_Julia, the guys won't let me tell you where we meet."_

"_They won't let you?"_

"_I mean, uh…they don't want me to. They're weird about their privacy."_

"_And who are these guys Eli? And why haven't I met them?"_

"_They're just some…friends Jules."_

"_So why can't I meet them?"_

"_You wouldn't like them."_

"_Do you like them?"_

"…_huh?"_

"_Do you even like these guys that you sneak off to meet with? Cause you act like you're afraid of them."_

"_Shut up Julia, why would I be afraid of my friends?" I raised my voice as I asked her, getting pissed off. _

"_Maybe they're not your friends. And don't tell me to shut up."_

_I rolled my eyes. "Look, you're being ridiculous and I have to go."_

"_I won't wait up for you."_

"_Fine."_

_I heard her sad sigh before I slammed the door and left…_

"Clare where is this coming from?" She's never complained like this before…

I mean sure, we spend a lot of time together. But…doesn't she want to spend time with me?

"It's just the little part of me that hasn't spoken up until now Eli, but it's always been there." She said quietly, her rant basically over with.

"And why is it speaking up now?"

"Because we had a fight, and because you still hide things from me. Why should I spend time with you if you don't even trust me?"

"I do trust you Clare! Fuck!" I cursed loudly, turning my head away. Why the hell will she not believe me?

"Don't curse at me Eli." She said, and I turned to look at her again.

Her eyes were sad and cloudy with frustration….and hurt.

I sighed. "I'm sorry Clare."

"Why are you yelling at me Eli?"

I raised an eyebrow. "I'm not yelling…"

"You're not right now, but you did the other day in your room….and just a second ago. You've never yelled at me like that before."

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Yelling had been a real problem with Julia. I thought I'd grown out of it, but sometimes that angst in my heart just bursts out into words before I can stop it. Even though the angst isn't directed at Clare, it will target anybody whenever I get worked up or upset.

"I'm sorry Clare. I really am." I opened my eyes and looked at her blank face. She was waiting for me to say more.

"I don't mean to yell, and…I won't anymore, okay? Really, I promise. I'm really sorry if I scared you or hurt your feelings." I said sincerely, looking her in the eyes.

I don't want to hurt Clare, she's the best thing that's ever happened to me. Maybe I can talk to my therapist about the anger problems…

She nodded slightly and looked up at me, giving me a half smile. "Okay Eli, I forgive you."

My heart soared with relief.

I reached out to hug her and she hugged me back. I almost crooned as our bodies came in contact, I haven't held her in a while…

"Did…did you yell at Julia?" She asked.

The stabbing pain in my heart, the angst, the fire….it all came back with her question.

No! I won't let myself get carried away, I won't yell again, not at Clare.

I took a deep breath and balled my hands into fists, then exhaled.

Clare noticed my effort and looked up at my face with worry.

"Yes…I did. I feel really bad about it Clare, and I promise, I won't yell at you anymore, I…I'm so sorry…"

I pleaded with her, apologized….I'll say anything to make that look in her eyes disappear. She looks like she's… afraid of me.

And thankfully, it did go away. She smiled again. "It's okay Eli, I've already forgiven you, remember?"

I grinned and kissed her head.

"So…how about dinner?"

She pulled away. "Eli remember what I told you… about suffocating me and all that? I'm going shopping with Alli tonight." She said.

UGH. Why does she have to hang out with Alli _tonight_, the night of our make up?

But I don't want her to feel like I'm suffocating her, so I nodded my head.

"Okay. But I expect you to be wearing some sexy new make up tomorrow at school." I smirked and the blush ran to her cheeks as she giggled.

Damn, she's so cute when she blushes.

"Deal…and you can help me test out all the lip gloss flavors too." She winked and my smirk widened.

"Thanks for listening Eli." She said. "I'm glad we talked about this finally."

I grinned and my heart leapt. She's so sweet, so formal…it's endearing.

"Thank YOU Clare, for forgiving me for my bad behavior." I murmured into her ear as I kissed it slowly.

She giggled and turned her face so she could kiss me on the lips. I kissed her back hungrily until the moment she pulled away.

"But…Eli?" She said quietly.

I looked into her eyes and they seemed to be timidly asking me a question.

"Yes?"

"Please tell me what really happened….with Emily…with the scar."

My stomach churned and I looked away.

She turned my face back to hers and stared into my eyes. "Please Eli…don't you trust me?"

"Of course I do." I murmured back.

"Then tell me."

I sighed, knowing there was no way out of this.

"Okay…tomorrow, after school. Come over…I'll tell you all about it."

She grinned triumphantly and kissed me again. "Thank you."

She left to meet Alli and I sat down on the bench, burying my face in my hands.

Maybe it is a good thing she's hanging out with Alli tonight…

It'll give me time to think up a lie convincing enough to get her off my case about Emily.


	11. Keep Your Friends Closer

**Eli's POV:**

"_Ew, why you fuck around with that whale?"_

"_Back off cunt; she gives good head."_

_-Drunken laughter-_

"_Can't be as good as Marissa."_

"_Aw, you're girlfriend?"_

"_Hell naw bro, you know the rules."_

"_True. And who'd wanna be tied to down to just one bitch any way when you got all these pussies around ya?"_

_More laughter._

_I stared in disgust at the members of the Bloodspilt gang; just a few drunken guys hanging out on the street corner. Mike wasn't with them, and I'd seen these guys before. They weren't violent; they just mouth off._

"_And you actually wanna join those dickheads?" I said to Mark, my best friend._

_Ever since that day we'd met when I was nine, we'd become really close. His family didn't have much money either, but they were nice people. Mark was one of the only boys in my neighborhood that didn't scare the shit out of me. _

_And it was the same for him._

_He looked away, ashamed. "C'mon Eli, stop that."_

"_Stop what?"_

_He turned back to me. "Stop guilt tripping me."_

_I sighed. "You know that's not what I'm trying to do, but I mean Mark, how could you even consider being one of them? They're rapists, abusive, murderers Mark!"_

"_Eli, I told you about my brother. I can't let that happen to me."_

"_So you're gonna join them?"_

"_At least then they'll respect me. I gotta try to keep them scared."_

_I put my head in my hands. _

_We were twelve now, and you could become a Bloodspilt pledge when you turned thirteen. Time was ticking away, and I still hadn't convinced Mark that it was a bad idea._

"_I'll be fine Eli." He put his hand on my shoulder to reassure me. "They won't hurt me, not if I follow the rules."_

"_What rules?" I asked._

"_Well you heard them talking, you can't have a girlfriend if you're in the gang."_

"_Why?"_

_He chuckled. "Isn't it obvious? Girlfriends are always trying to figure out your business, they wanna know all your secrets. They can't know the gangs secrets."_

"_So basically the guys just whore around?" _

_Mark laughed, but I didn't think it was funny._

"_Pretty much I guess. I mean I've heard of a few guys having girlfriends, but I doubt it works out. I mean think about balancing a relationship with a chick with a relationship with the gang."_

_I wrinkled my nose at the phrase "relationship with the gang". _

_It didn't sound like a relationship to me at all…_

I sat on my bed with my head in my hands. Clare will be coming over any minute, and I still don't have quite the right lie to tell her.

Telling her the truth is out of the question, obviously. I mean, I can't tell her I was part of a gang. One of the worst gangs at that. I slammed my head against my door frame in anger; cursing the day that I'd agreed to join that gang. Cursing _him…_

"_Mark?" _

_He'd told me to meet him in his backyard at 6:00 PM, and I'd been waiting there for ten minutes…_

"_Eli…"_

_I turned at the sound of his strangled voice and ran over to him in absolute horror._

"_Mark, what happened to you?"_

_His legs were covered in blood, and it was still streaming. _

"_Oh nothing, just my first test."_

_I noticed it was hard for him to speak, and I could see that his lips were swollen and bleeding as well._

"_Test?" _

_He nodded. "You didn't think they'd let me in for free, did you?"_

_I had to look away to keep myself from bursting into tears._

_Mark, my best friend…why was he willing to do this to himself?_

"_What did they make you do?" I asked, my voice quivering._

"_They made me and all the other pledges beat each other up. Knives were allowed, but no serious injuries. That's how my legs got cut up."_

"_That's terrible! It should be illegal…it IS illegal. Why can't you report them to the police?"_

"_Everyone has. And sometimes it works. Sometimes a few people get arrested. But rarely Eli. You know how it is in this neighborhood. There's so much crime in this part of town….Bloodspilt is too widespread to really put an end too, and there's not enough focus on just the gang."_

"_Okay, you have a point. But why do you have to join them? They're torturing you just as much as they would if you weren't one of them!"_

_He took a deep, shuddery breath and I saw a tear roll down his cheek. I lost it then, and burst into tears for my friend's pain. I wrapped him into a hug and he whispered something to me._

"_Because Eli…not only can I not let what happened to my brother happen to me, I can't let it happen to my sister."_

"_Vanessa?" I asked. His sister was only 10…_

"_Yes. I'm doing this to protect her. There's a rule you see. If you're one of them, then your family is safe. They won't rape her; they won't do anything to her if I join them. Ness is just a kid Eli, she's…they can't, I can't let them-.."_

_He broke off into sobs and I pulled him closer._

"_I'm so sorry Mark. This is…amazing what you're doing. But you shouldn't have to do it."_

"_I wish I didn't have to! But I have to protect her…it's just…I can't believe I'm gonna have to do it all alone…"_

_A solemn feeling pooled in my stomach, and at that moment I knew what I had to do._

"_You don't have to do it alone Mark. I'll…I'll do it with you. I'll…I'll join the gang."_

I shook my head to clear it from that hated memory.

Mark turned out to be a bastard, and I had risked everything, ruined my life to help him.

I hate his guts.

I should've killed him when I had the chance.

I could've killed him. Just as easily as he could've killed me. But I didn't kill him. And he didn't kill me. And I still don't know why…

He had me, and he knew it too. There was nothing to stop him from-

My train of thought was interrupted when my phone rang.

I saw that it was Clare and sighed exasperatedly, I still have no clue what to tell her.

**Clare's POV:**

"Hello?" His voice sounded strained and I felt a twinge of anxiety at what that could mean. What he's going to tell me…it's really killing him, isn't it?

"Hey Eli, I was just wondering…could you maybe come pick me up? I was gonna walk, but it's raining outside…"

"It is? Oh, weird, I hadn't even noticed." He laughed without humor; just accenting his stressed tone.

"Yeah sure, I'll be right there."

The doorbell rang and I giggled a little. "That was fast…my doorbell just rang." I said. "How weird is that?"

He laughed too and sounded a little more relaxed this time.

"As much as I'd like to say Morty has super speed, I'm afraid it is pure irony that you're doorbell rang."

I laughed and went to open the door.

There, standing in the rain was-

My jaw dropped.

"Fitz!"

I stared at his grim, bruised face in disbelief.

"Fitz? Huh? Clare?" Eli's voice spoke urgently to me over the phone but I was too stunned to reply.

Fitz stepped inside and took the phone from me.

"Miss me emo boy?"

I heard Eli's muffled holler through the phone but Fitz ignored him.

"Relax, I'm not gonna hurt your precious girlfriend."

More muffled yelling from Eli.

Fitz just laughed. "Alright, you do that." He hung up.

"Eli's on his way."

I stared at him, my eyes wide with question. "What…what are you doing here…WHY are you here Fitz?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Try me."

"I'm here to save his pansy ass."

"Huh? Save him from what?"

**Fitz's POV:**

I don't know what to tell her really. I don't even know if it will help anything for me to tell her. Knowing will probably just hurt her, and I don't really want that. Clare's not a bad chick; she's just hanging around with the wrong guy.

_Eli Goldsworthy…_

My enemy.

My fellow gang member.

….my ex best friend.


	12. Golden Boy

**A/N: Sorry for the late update guys, I'll try to get back on schedule with this!**

**Emily's POV:**

"_Em, can you go see what's taking Eli so long outside?"_

_I sighed. "Why can't you?"_

_Julia looked away from the mirror where was fixing her hair and shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot._

"_Because…I don't like his friend."_

"_Why not?"_

"_He's…creepy."_

"_So instead of going out and facing this creepy guy, you want your poor little sister to do it?"_

_I grinned so she knew I was just joking but she looked ashamed anyway. "I'm sorry, I'll-…"_

"_It's fine Jules; I got it." I said, getting up. I didn't like to see her upset, and I was getting more and more curious about whom this friend of Eli's was…_

_I walked outside and looked around but I didn't see anybody._

_Then I heard a voice yell that sounded like Eli's from the side of my house._

_Curious, I snuck around the front wall of my house to hear better, but I stayed out of their eyesight._

"_I don't wanna talk about this anymore Mark."_

"_So instead you want to keep stringing this girl along."_

"_I'm not stringing Julia along, I love her!" Eli said heatedly and I could hear the agitation in his voice._

"_Yeah, you keep saying that."_

"_What is that supposed to mean?"_

"_I thought you didn't wanna talk about this anymore."_

"_What do you mean Mark? Tell me."_

_I heard a sigh. _

"_Forget it Eli. I'm just looking out for you, and for her. You know it's in everyone's best interest if you break up with me."_

_My eyes went wide and I decided I'd heard enough._

"_Hey guys!" I said, trying my hardest to sound casual._

_They both looked startled._

"_Emily! Um, hey…"_

"_I just came out to see when you were gonna come inside." I said, and smiled my best fake smile, hoping Eli wouldn't see through it._

"_Oh I'll be there in a second."_

"_You can go now; I've said all I need to say." Mark said as he turned to walk away._

_Eli sighed. "Mark-…"_

"_See you tonight Golden Boy."_

_Eli rolled his eyes. "Fine…bye FITZ." He said angrily._

_Once Mark/Fitz was gone he turned to me. "Golden Boy is my…nickname. Fitz is his. I personally detest them." _

"_Then why'd you make them your nicknames?"_

"_Who said I'm in the one that chose it?" He looked like he was going to say more but then shook his head._

"_Okay…whatever." I said, and turned around to go back inside._

"_Em, how much did you hear?"_

_I knew Eli would see through me._

"_Enough to know that that Mark guy wants you to break up with my sister."_

_Eli covered his face with his hands and sighed._

"_Don't worry, I'm not going to. I love your sister Emily, you know that."_

"_How do you even know that guy?"_

_Eli sighed again. "He's one of my best friends…we used to live in the same neighborhood."_

"_Julia doesn't like him."_

"_I know." He said in monotone._

"_And I guess he doesn't like her either if he wants you to break up with her."_

_Eli shook his head. "He doesn't have a problem with her Emily. He's really not a bad guy once you get to know him; he's just…hard to understand."_

"_Whatever, I still don't like him. You know how much you mean to my sister Eli, if you broke up with her-…"_

_He was one of the best things that had ever happened to Julia, or even me for that matter. He was so great…I didn't want this Mark guy taking him away from us._

"_I know, I know. Don't worry Em. I'm not gonna hurt your sister."_

**Clare's POV:**

"Fitz, save him from WHAT?"

Fitz just shook his head. "Forget it. Although I can't believe he didn't tell you. He's just never gonna fucking learn is he?" He said more to himself than me.

"What the HELL are you talking about?"

Is this related to what Eli was planning on telling me today? I shuddered, I don't wanna think about anything that involves Fitz. It brings back too many terrifying memories.

"Clare, relationships don't mix very well with guys like Eli and me."

I crossed my arms. "Speak for yourself; Eli is a great boyfriend." Sure I've been having issues with him lately, but he's going through a rough time and he IS trying. I'm not about to let this jerk trash talk our relationship.

Fitz just laughed. "Do you think Julia Kennisworth would agree?"

My jaw dropped.

I didn't say anything so Fitz kept on.

"PLEASE tell me he at least told you about Julia?"

I nodded. "He did, but…he told YOU about her?" I asked incredulously. Why would Eli tell one of his darkest secrets to his worst enemy?

Fitz didn't have time to answer me though because Eli burst through the door and pinned Fitz to the wall by my staircase in the blink of an eye.

He held Fitz up off the ground and snarled in his face.

"Get the fuck out of this house RIGHT NOW. Stay away from Clare!" He said viciously, and if I were Fitz I'd be scared for my life right now.

I've never seen him look that…menacing before.

He dropped Fitz then and came over to me, wrapping me in his arms and squeezing me too him.

"Clare I am so, SO sorry. I will not let this bastard hurt you, don't worry."

"Oh yeah I forgot, that's your job!"

Eli let go of me and turned back to Fitz.

"OUT!" He yelled.

"I'm not sure if it's safe for me to leave Clare alone with you."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Clare's a nice girl; I don't want you to beat her up."

"Why the fuck would I ever do something like that?"

"Maybe you should ask Julia. Oh wait, you can't, because you KILLED her."

The gasp that erupted from my throat was nothing compared to the sound Eli made.

He cried out it- I'm not even sure what- anger, sadness, and maybe even…guilt. That can't be guilt I see in his eyes…he didn't really….abuse Julia, did he?

I didn't have time to process it because Eli through Fitz to the ground and starting kicking the crap out of him while dropping a string of words I'm sure have never been said in this house before.

"Eli, Eli, STOP IT!" I yelled.

He looked at me for a moment and that was long enough for Fitz to push Eli off of him and stand up.

"Whatever you prick, kill Clare too then. That's not what I even fucking came to talk about." Fitz spat angrily, wiping his bloody nose on his sweatshirt sleeve.

"Then why did you come here?" Eli and I asked simultaneously.

"I came here because Mike is back."

**Eli's POV:**

"_I will turn you inside out you pathetic piece of shit. Get out of my sight."_

"_N-no..." I stuttered._

_Smack._

_I fell back to the ground. Don't cry; DON'T cry I kept telling myself…_

"_Did you just say no? Why the hell would you defy ME little dick?"_

"_Because…"_

_I knew what I had to say. This was the third test and all I had to do was say one more thing and then I could go home…for now at least._

"_WHY?"_

_He kicked me in the stomach and I gagged a little._

"_Because I want to be one of you. I want to spill blood."_

I'm falling. I can't- I can't faint, Clare-

She's not safe, not with Fitz, I can't-

"And he's looking for YOU Golden Boy."

I blacked out.


End file.
